Write this down. If you push around a stiff, nobody'll ask you to do anything.
— You know what the dead do with most of their time? They watch the living. Especially in the shower.
— I can't wait to die.
— Doug! Why are you hitting me?
— I thought you were dead, coming back to life!
— Then why were you hitting me?
— Dead people should be dead!
Funerals, I'd decided, are not for the dead. They're for the living.
People don't really go to heaven when they die, they're taken to a special room and burned.
Dead men tell no tales.
I remember thinking, "There's no handles on that bag. How are they gonna pick her up? How are they gonna carry her?" And they just grabbed the bag and threw her in the ambulance. Just like that.
It's better to be dead and cool than alive and uncool.