If you found someone who makes you happy by just sitting around and holding hands, then eventually all that other stuff won't matter.
Seven years would be insufficient to make some people acquainted with each other, and seven days are more than enough for others.
It's ok to understand other people. But it's not enough. Advertence is necessary too. Because it's easy to understand abstract person if you're not a victim but outside observer. Imagine you say to friend who needs your help: "I understand the man who stole from you because he was starved". Or that: "I understand that scumbag who raped you because his wife ran out on him and he wanted to blow off steam". Only most hard-hearted person can say that.
I've always felt no matter what we were going through no matter how painful things got if our feet found each other under the blankets even just the slightest connection it'd tell us we'd entered the demilitarized zone that we were gonna be okay, that we were still an "us."
— I didn't ask for your help.
— Friends don't wait to be asked.
The emotional baggage is the relationship. Everybody has their issues the point is to sort them out together.
Tribal commonality is highly conducive to social bonding.