The worst kinds of lies are the lies we tell ourselves just before we go to sleep. The lies that say 'I'm happy', or 'He's happy', or 'This will all be over', or 'I can change', or 'He'll change his mind', or ‘I don't need her', or 'I don't need him.'
The truth is I've never fooled anyone. I've let people fool themselves. They didn't bother to find out who and what I was. Instead they would invent a character for me. I wouldn't argue with them. They were obviously loving somebody I wasn't. When they found this out, they would blame me for disillusioning them and fooling them.
"You can’t run away” is an ideal for the strong. You’re not always wrong. Society, the world, the people around you – often someone else is in the wrong. To think that you can change is adapting to this cruel, indifferent, trashy world. It’s admitting defeat and servility. You’re simply deceiving yourself by dressing it up with pretty words.
Life is unpredictable...and control is just an illusion. And sometimes all that unpredictability is overwhelming. And it makes us feel small and powerless.
When you want to do a thing badly enough you lie to yourself. You say the other people are all wrong.
As far as I could see, people were always conning each other to get what they wanted. We even con ourselves. We talk ourselves into things, you know. We sell ourselves things we maybe don't even need or want, you know, by dressing them up. We leave out the risk, we leave out the ugly truth. Pay attention to that 'cause we're all conning ourselves in one way or another, just to get through life.
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